10 Actionable Ways of Coping with Relationship Loss
It’s only the beginning of 2025 and we’ve already seen a whole slew of public breakups. And maybe you’ve found yourself in the same predicament: whether you were the dumpee or the dumper. One minute, they were your person and the next minute? They’re no longer sharing your bed, your home, or your life. Whether the decision was yours or not, you’ve found yourself alternating between anger, sadness, and the temptation to text them day or night. You’re not just sad, you’re mourning a relationship. It’s losing a version of your life. But, here’s the good news: you can move on, and no, it doesn’t involve doomscrolling until 4 am or obsessively checking their social media. Instead, here are 10 tips to cope with relationship loss and get your life back on track. 1. Accept That It’s Over (Even If Your Brain Disagrees) Denial is a hell of a drug. Your brain is wired to cling to familiarity, which is why you can’t stop thinking: “Maybe they’ll text. Maybe we’ll work it out. Maybe…” ✔ Reality check: They’re not coming back, and even if they do, it won’t be the same. It ended for a reason. Accepting the breakup is the first step in moving forward. These 3 steps are good starting points on how to accept a break up: Stop checking their social media. Nothing good comes from it. Block and delete their number if you know you’ll be tempted to text. Whenever you start reminiscing, remind yourself why the breakup happened. Acceptance isn’t instant, so you might find yourself indulging in the above. But the sooner you stop fighting reality, the sooner you can start moving forward. It’s a process. 2. Mourn the Relationship You might have heard about the 5 stages of grief. It’s known as the Kübler-Ross stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. You can use the 5 stages to mourn the relationship in the following ways: Denial is the first step when a break up occurs. You fantasize about getting back together or you refuse to believe it’s really over. Denial is a coping mechanism. Spending time to process the loss with friends, family, or a therapist can make you feel better. Anger. Let yourself feel the breakup. Cry. Punch a pillow. Rant in your Notes app. Don’t suppress your feelings. Processing them is what helps you move on. Bargaining. You find yourself thinking, “If only I had been more patient, we could still be together.” or, “We can still be friends, and eventually rekindle the romance.” This stage is the “what if” and “if only” stage. Depression. This stage of relationship loss is when deep sadness and a lack of motivation take over. Some days you’ll feel fine; others, you’ll spiral. That’s normal. Acceptance is the final stage. At this point, you stop resisting the breakup, stop bargaining and finally acknowledge the breakup. You’re still going to feel sad, but you’re finally moving on with your life. 3. Use the Power of Silence After a Breakup For some people, once a relationship is over, it’s over. They’re hurting, but they’re not sending their ex “I miss you” texts. For others, going no contact is impossible even though it’s necessary. Here’s how to go no contact: No “just checking in” texts. Remind yourself you’re sending this text for selfish reasons. No rewatching old videos or rereading messages that might tempt you to call or text, “Remember when we did this?” or “I miss vacations with you.” No “I miss you” texts. Just don’t. Using the power of silence after a breakup isn’t about ignoring your former partner, it’s about giving yourself time and space to detach and heal. 4. Consider Relationship Therapy Should You Go to Therapy After a Breakup? Short answer: It depends. It’s normal to cry and feel depressed about your break-up for a long time. However, if your mental health is spiraling to the point of self-destruction – feeling like you want to hurt yourself or others – or it’s been years and you still haven’t moved on, therapy after a breakup can be a game-changer. A therapist can help you: Process the breakup without obsessing. Recognize unhealthy relationship patterns. Recognize your attachment issues. Learn coping skills that actually work. If your breakup is hitting harder than expected, and the answer to the “Should I go to therapy after a breakup?” question is a resounding yes, consider making an appointment with a relationship therapist or a counselor soon. 5. Rewrite the Story & Stop Romanticizing the Past Your brain loves to lie to you. It will loop the best moments of your time with them, erase the worst, and convince you that you lost your soulmate. If it was perfect, you’d still be together. Make a list of reasons why the breakup was necessary. Remind yourself of their flaws; not just the good parts. Shift your mindset from “I lost them” to “I gained myself.” Your ex isn’t one of the main characters in the story of your life anymore. You are. 6. Get Off Their Social Media Nothing good comes from lurking your ex’s socials. Nothing. What can stalking their stories and obsessively going over new follows do for you? Think about the following: If they seem happy, it’ll hurt. If they seem sad, you’ll want to reach out. If they’re seeing someone new? It will hurt you and make you sad, setting back whatever progress you’ve made. Mute, block, restrict—do whatever it takes. Your peace is more important than their latest post. 7. Break the Routine You Had With Them Relationships come with habits: date nights, daily good morning and good night texts, favorite coffee spots. When it ends, those routines turn into painful reminders. Instead of letting them keep you stuck, switch things up. ✔ Take a different route to work or store if passing by their place. ✔ Go to a new café instead of the place you and your ex used to
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