SELF-CARE

What is a Toxic Relationship? Toxic relationships can affect your emotional, mental and physical well-being. Understanding what a toxic relationship is the first step in recognizing if you’re in one so that you can start to regain your emotional, mental and physical health. In the plainest of terms, a toxic relationship is a relationship that is detrimental to your well-being and health. It often involves patterns of behavior from your partner that are mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically damaging. Toxic relationships can occur in any context, including romantic partnerships, friendships, and within family. Recognizing these unhealthy behaviors is crucial for protecting your holistic health from toxicity. What is a Toxic Person? A toxic person is someone whose behavior negatively impacts others. They may exhibit manipulative, controlling, or abusive behaviors – this can include verbal, mental or physical abuse – that undermine the other person’s sense of self-worth and happiness. They are constantly creating drama and you often feel like you’re walking on eggshells trying not to set them off. Recognizing these behaviors can help you identify if someone in your life is toxic. These people fail to take responsibility for their actions, often manipulate and lie while consistently placing their needs and wants above everyone else’s. What are the 10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship? 1. Constant Criticism: – Toxic partners often engage in constant criticism, belittling your efforts, appearance, weight, personality and opinions. This negative loop can lower your self-esteem and make you feel like you’re not good enough. Examples: Whenever you cook a meal, your partner always finds something wrong with it, saying something like, “You can never cook this right,” or “Why do you always mess up simple dishes?” They always berate you for your opinion: “That is the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. I can’t believe that you’re this naive and stupid.” They attack your looks: “If you started working out, you’d be more attractive to me.” 2. Lack of Support: In a toxic relationship, your goals, interests, and achievements are often disparaged or belittled. Your partner may show little interest in your passions or they might downplay your successes, making you feel unsupported and unworthy. Examples: You tell your partner about getting promoted at work, and they say, “But you didn’t get a salary increase so the promotion is worthless” or even, “You got it? Was everyone else busy?” People who do this are often unhappy with their own lives, so they lash out at others; especially their partners. 3. Jealousy and Possessiveness: Someone who displays alarming forms of jealousy and possessiveness can limit your freedom and isolate you from your support systems. This might include constant questioning of where you are at all times, always needing to accompany you anywhere you go, checking your emails, texts and other forms of communication, or purposefully keeping you from seeing your friends and family. Examples: Your partner is always checking your phone, always has to know who you’re talking to, gets angry and guilt trips you if you spend time with your loved ones without them present. This can lead you to isolate and distance yourself from others and drop activities you used to enjoy due to your partner’s unreasonable demands. 4. Manipulation: Emotional manipulation involves controlling your emotions through lies, guilt, or other manipulative tactics. Oftentimes this will make you walk on eggshells and reduce your sense of independence because your toxic partner is making you doubt your decisions. Examples: Your partner makes you feel guilty for wanting to visit your loved ones, saying things like, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t leave me alone.” or, “You hung out with your friends a couple of days ago, why do you need to see them today? You’re always prioritizing others over me.” Actions like this can make you feel trapped in the relationship. 5. Controlling Behavior: Along with manipulation above, a toxic partner can show controlling behavior by dictating what you wear, how you talk and who you talk to, and how you spend your time. Their need for control can make you feel small and create a power imbalance in the relationship. Examples: Controlling behavior can take on many forms. Your partner insists on approving your outfits before you leave the house and often disparages them – they’re either too skimpy or too frumpy; you can never get it right. Or they insist that you do all the cooking and chores in a specific way. They also get angry if you make plans without their approval, saying things like, “You need to ask me first before deciding on anything.” 6. Blame-Shifting: Refusing to take responsibility for their actions and blaming you for everything is another common sign of a toxic relationship. This behavior over time, can make you feel guilty and responsible for their behavior, even when it’s not your fault. Examples: After they lose their temper and yell at you, your partner says it’s your fault for “getting them riled up” and that you should have known better than to give them attitude. 7. Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the toxic partner makes you question your own sanity and reality. Your toxic partner might deny things you’ve witnessed, twist your words, purposely deny things that they’ve said to you, or make you feel overly sensitive or irrational when they hurt your feelings. Examples: Your partner insists that a conversation you know took place never happened, or they claim that you’re “imagining things” when you bring up concerns. This can also manifest in them telling you that “you can’t take a joke” and then getting mad at you when they intentionally hurt your feelings. 8. Purposefully Picking Fights: You and your partner’s frequent arguments that are nothing but drama are another red flag sign of toxic relationships in couples. These arguments often leave you feeling emotionally drained and stressed, without any positive outcomes because they keep happening – often about the same things. It also feels like your partner